


bite your ankles

by haemophilus



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Gen, New Jersey, Vignette
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2018-11-18 11:45:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11290074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haemophilus/pseuds/haemophilus
Summary: These are all the pictures from our Jersey Shore vacations. These were, like, the happiest days of our lives.Snapshots of life at the Jersey Shore.





	1. 1978 (2)

**Author's Note:**

> Content warning in the first chapter for parental abuse and giving alcohol to a child.
> 
> This was going to be a part of 'beach house living' but then it worked better as a fic unto itself. Hope you like where it's headed because I am very excited about it.

The hot sun beat down on the beach, covering Dee with a thin sheen of sweat. The gooey substance Josephina had rubbed all over Dee’s skin that morning was melting off; sand clung to its sticky remains. Dee grabbed a wet handful, and giggled when she dropped it into her lap.

“Sand,” she said. The new word crunched in her mouth.

Dee’s mom raised her sunglasses and gave her an exasperated look.

“Christ, your pig of a father is a terrible influence.”

“Daddy. . .pig,” said Dee. She giggled, picturing her dad with a snout and a curly tail. “Pig.”

Her mother smiled. “Very good, dear.”

Warmth flooded Dee’s chest. “Good.”

Several feet away, Dennis was uncovering strange items buried in the sand. He picked up a flat, white rock, and put it in his mouth. It stood in stark contrast to his bright red face. When Josephina had tried to put the sticky cream on Dennis, he cried so hard that he threw up on her shoes.

Dennis picked up a grey rock, and walked back over to the beach blanket. He dropped the grey rock in Dee’s lap, and took the white rock out of his mouth.

“Bite,” he ordered.

“No, Dennis,” said Dee. Her two favorite words. Dennis frowned.

“Bite!” he ordered again.

“No, no, Dennis,” said Dee. “No bite!”

The look on his face was furious now. He stomped his foot. “Mommy!”

Their mom sighed. “Children, don’t fight. It’s unbecoming.”

Dennis dropped to the ground, fuming. He looked at the rock in his hand, and back at Dee. Then, he tried to shove the rock into her mouth. Dee screamed, and lobbed the rock in her lap at his head. He burst into tears.

“Deandra!” snapped her mother. “Young ladies do not throw rocks!”

“Mommy!!!” Dennis cried. Barbara opened her arms.

“Come here, baby,” she said. He ran into her arms and squeezed her tight. “Did your nasty sister hurt you?”

“No!” said Dee. “No hurt!”

Dennis sniffled and nodded. Barbara let him go, picked up her fancy, V-shaped glass, and held it up to Dennis’s face.

“Take a sip. You’ll feel much better.”

He sipped at the liquid, and winced.

“Yuck!”

Barbara put her glass down, and patted him on the head. “It’s an acquired taste.” She leaned back on her chair. “Now go play in the water, children. Mommy needs to rest.”


	2. 1979 (3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter as usual :) Content warning for separation anxiety.

The sky was bright blue and cloud-free as Dennis and Dee chased each other on the beach. Dee had tagged him and then ran away giggling. Her long blonde hair was unravelling from its ponytail as she ran against the mild summer breeze.

Her smile left her face when she tripped and fell, face planting in the sand. Dennis ran over to her, grinning.

“You fell,” he said. Dee got to her feet, and shoved him. He lost his balance, and landed on back.

“Hey!” he cried, pushing himself up onto his elbows. Dee brushed sand off her arms and legs. Her smile had returned.

“You fell too,” she said.

“You pushed me!” said Dennis. “Mom!!!!”

Nobody answered.

“Mom?” said Dennis. He scanned the beach; their mother was nowhere to be found. His heart started pounding.

“Mom’s gone,” said Dee. Tears welled up in Dennis’s eyes. Their mom couldn’t have left them -

“Mom!!!”

Dee crouched in front of him, and frowned.

“Stop crying,” she said. Dennis wiped the free-flowing tears away with the back of his hand.

“I want mom,” he said. Dee grabbed his hands and pulled. He let his arms go limp.

“Get up,” said Dee. “Stop crying.”

Dennis sighed, and allowed himself to be pulled up. He wiped more tears and snot away with the back of his arm, and was rewarded with a face full of sand. Dee giggled as he winced at the discomfort. Dennis scowled, and wiped his filthy arm on her own.

“Ew!!!!!” cried Dee. Dennis grinned.

“You’re it!” he said. Then he ran off, though not as fast as he could. She was much slower than he was, and prone to giving up if he ran too fast.

The game wasn’t any fun when she left him behind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically a deleted scene from beach house living. It didn't serve any purpose, so it got cut. Anyway, I wrote this a while ago and just wanted to post something. Content warning for cocaine and Dennis being a creep.

The first hit of cocaine lit up the night like firecrackers. It had been two days since he’d felt the drug pump through his body, fuelled by a racing heart. Anything was possible - he could bang Molly Ringwald, become the president, win the lottery. 

Fuck, this coke was pure. He chugged the rest of his beer - gotta avoid the crash. Dennis threw the bottle onto the ground; it shattered. Several people cheered. 

Dee had disappeared into the night after doing enough jello shots to make her wobbly. He looked around for her familiar glow, but no such luck. Nevermind - he needed to find his prey.

Dennis walked through the crushing sea of bodies until he found a clear area against a wall. He leaned against it, scoping out the room to see if there were any new hotties. 

_ Butterface. . .too fat. . .too slutty. . .not slutty enough. . .bitch face. . .too many friends. . .part of the old crowd. . .already slept with her. . . _

Finally, he found her. She was around his age (take that, Dee), blonde, short, and alone. Her arms were folded around her as she drank one beer, two beers, a shot by the keg that was several feet away. Dennis smiled at her, and walked over to the keg. He poured himself a beer and said, “Hey, cutie. What’s your name?”

The girl gave him a shy smile. “Angela.”

“Pretty name for a pretty girl,” he said. She blushed. 

“Thank you,” she said. “What’s your name?”

“Dennis.” Then he said, obligatory, “Who’s your family?”

“Dad’s CFO of Hershey’s. You?” said Angela.”

“Overseas textile manufacturing. Makes clothes for Banana Republic and shit,” said Dennis. He gulped his beer down, and poured himself more.

“You’re kinda cute yourself, Dennis,” said Angela, She twirled her hair around her finger. 

Sometimes things were just too easy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another thing that's been dying a slow death in my folder. Since this fic isn't part of the 'beach house living' continuity anymore, I think it's alright if it goes here. Inspired a little bit by 'Through a Glass Darkly' which in turn inspired that weird Ingmar Bergman photoshoot for season 9.
> 
> Content warning for mentions of rape and smoking.

The shore was dreary and cold. Tones of black and grey washed over the land and sea. Dee was sitting on a long rock; the waves lapped at her toes. She was smoking a dwindling cigarette. Dennis approached her.

“What are you doing, Dee?”

Dee tapped her cigarette onto the sand. “Do you really give a shit or has mom assigned you to be my babysitter so I don’t embarrass anyone?”

“Uh. . .” he replied, rubbing the back of his neck. Dee huffed out a laugh. She threw her cigarette butt into the ocean.

“Thought so.”

Dennis sat down next to her. He folded his hands in his lap.

“You did light someone on fire.”

Dee scoffed. “Yeah, and you’ve raped half of Ocean City. I don’t see anyone asking me to keep you from doing it again.”

“I haven’t raped anyone,” said Dennis. “All of the girls I bang are willing.”

“Oh yeah, all that money dad’s spent on bail bonds really screams ‘I’m not a rapist,’” said Dee.

Dennis leaned back on his hands. “You’re a bitch, Dee.”

“Better watch out unless you wanna end up on fire too,” she replied.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another deleted thing from beach house living. Didn't serve the plot so it got cut.

Dee woke up with Dennis’s arm flopped over her body. His breath was hot on her ear. When she stirred, he wrapped his arm more tightly around her. Ugh. So clingy. She elbowed him in the ribs. His eyes snapped open as he cried out in pain.

“Get off. I gotta pee,” said Dee. Dennis moved his arm to rub his side.

“Jesus Christ. You don’t have to be such a bitch about it,” he moaned. She hopped out of bed, and picked her towel up off the floor. Might as well shower too.

“You don’t have to be such a drama queen, but here we are,” said Dee. Before he could respond, she shut the door behind her. 


End file.
